I'm in a good place with keeping track of expenditures. Today is the last day of November and we still have food in the house. Yay! I got creative and called the apples I brought to co-op today "eating out" so we could buy them AND the milk that baby needs, or there is trouble.
It's interesting imposing these limits on myself. Sure I could just spend money from the Christmas envelope on groceries so I never have to feel any sense of scanty means. But I don't have to.
P glories in being independently wealthy and I appreciate the ends to which he goes to keep us so. He did not buy a smart phone until he needed one for work, rather than when he wanted one for years. Rather than buy the newest phone, he got the one that was free with the only company that could provide a signal to our home. He kept that phone in mint condition for 5 years until it's capabilities were limiting his work. And again he didn't buy what was new and hot. Even better, this time he paid $500 to own an iPhone 6 and switched to a plan that only cost $45 monthly instead of the $66 we paid previously. No contract. And P loves technology. I'm shocked at his ability to make rational decisions in the face of so much magical shiny!
Being independently wealthy means that we can make choices based on what is long term good rather than what is immediately pressing. It doesn't actually mean we have a lot of money. We have a lot of positive reinforcement to make good choices coming from each other. He doesn't need to spoil me or buy fancy things for me. I don't need to spoil him or buy fancy things for him. We both agree that those things are not necessary for the continued emotional health of our relationship. And that is really the source of our wealth, our independence.
We don't have to buy the children fancy things so they won't be made fun of at school. They don't go to school. We don't have to drive fancy cars to look like we're rich, who cares!
Two friends were in need of baby gifts and yesterday I didn't want to leave the house to even make the minimal gesture of getting gift cards. So I cleverly devised to give them cash. But then I thought on the sweet outfits people have given me and how I wanted to send a particular message at the moment. I personally love cash and appreciate and remember the sweet people who have been so generous with us. I also love the cute outfits. So in the situation that I was choosing cash because it was easier on me, I decided I should in fact go out and choose something cute. So we went out and went to 5 stores because once I'm out I may as well buy all the things! It was good for us. I'm glad we went out and glad I could give my friends cute clothes for their babies.
It's very tempting to be judgemental and think people have what they need. One of the moms was so grateful and mentioned that she had had no shower for her little girl that is 3 months old. And I don't doubt that she has materially what is needed but everyone needs to be loved and I hope that was what we said with this shower. I am grateful for the times people have overridden my insistence that I had what I needed and gave me cute clothes and love.
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