Wednesday, July 23, 2014


We're going on an epic trip.  This is like the ultimate challenge of my current adult/mom moment.  I decided we should each have about 5 changes of clothes.  More for those that have frequent costume changes, aka accidents.  I wanted to be able to have the extra clothes in a laundry basket.  Then I realized that they will be wearing 1 set.  Another set will be in their night pack.  Church clothes will all be packed in a separate suitcase.  So really I only need to have 2 sets of clothes in the laundry basket.  Easy!

I'm also planning to have a bag packed with towels and swim stuff, separate from the other clothes. 

One problem is that we're using all those clothes every day.  So I can't just pack now. 

We were trying to get an inverter for the car because the CD player doesn't work.  So we wanted to be able to plug in a speaker to use an ipod.  Also we have air mattresses so we needed to plug in the pump.  In the end P got a new stereo that has a functional CD player and a tape deck.  So we can use a tape adapter to plug in the Ipod.  I even have one left over from the 90's that I never used.  Good thing I'm like a hoarder!  We've become spoiled having controls for the sound system on the steering wheel.  So now we still have that functionality.

 Instead of buying a fancy inverter, we got a pump that plugs into the car outlet.  I ordered some air mattresses for $15 from amazon.  They turned out to be terrible. So I returned them and got some coleman slim twin air mattresses for $19.  I really like these slim twin pads.  Their not so big as a twin.  Really they are tiny, but enough.  Also they have the amazing valve that lets you inflate and deflate them in seconds.

I've also been spending a lot of money on snack foods.  The silly thing of that is that we plan to buy food along the way.  So I'm not bringing all these snacks with us.  But when we get back, and I'm exhausted.  We'll have snacks.  Actually I'm not spending tons of money on snacks.  But I'm buying BOGO snacks that I would usually never buy.  Like I bought 10 bags of goldfish for $0.80 a bag.  When you have 4 kids that actually eat goldfish, it's not so unreasonable.  G even ate some macaroon cookies the other day. 

Capri Suns were BOGO so I got a box of the veggi/fruit juice.  It turns out G will drink this.  So for the first time in his life he is getting 1-2 servings of "Fruit/vegetable" a day!  I need to go out tonight and get some more.  Rather, I need to go tonight and buy all the ones they have in stock so I can get a rain check to buy more at that sale price next month!

Thursday, July 17, 2014


I've been reading somewhat about the excommunication of Kate Kelly and OW.  Some of their goals seem historically sound.  It's got me thinking about "What does God want me to do here?"  Honestly I'm living such an easy life.  It seems like I'm not magnifying my opportunity to be here.  I've made some good choices, but those were also the choices that my family and peers wanted me to make.  I've never had to do anything particularly difficult, like support myself, or overcome depression, or be a refugee.

That said, it occurs to me that  from my position of luxury, being ordained to the Priesthood is not part of my eternal plan.  It blesses my life and I administer my calling with priesthood authority.  But my ultimate goal is not priesthood or godhood.  I wish I knew more about the being I'm aspiring to be like.  But my eternal nature is not male. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Because I am

I'm loving my new haircut.  I've never had it this short before.  For a long time I wanted to cut it but worried that I would look like a man.  But I've realized that no matter what my hair is like, I will look like a woman; because I am a woman.

I will throw like a woman; because I am a woman.

I will run like a woman; because I am.

I'm trying to teach my children to love and accept themselves.  They are awesome.  And they are themselves.

When I think of my children working with youth leaders in the church that want to impose standards of feminine or masculine behavior, I want to go inactive.  A girl who does not wear pink is not gender-confused.  A boy who doesn't participate in bullying is not gay.  They are themselves.  They are children of God.

Before I go inactive though, I'll make pithy comments like "She's not gender confused, she's college bound." 

To give some background on this rant, I know 2 women who have struggled to find happiness and acceptance.  I know both had people whispering about them being lesbians at church.  There are many ways to be a woman.  Why must girls be boy-crazy to prove to the adults that they aren't committing the imagined sin of same sex attraction.  I say imagined sin because we've gone astray in modern Christian America.  Nobody is allowed to have deep friendships.  Children are only allowed heterosexual affection.  Great...  At what age are boys not allowed to hold hands anymore?

I think more and more that homosexual sex outside of marriage is as bad as heterosexual sex outside of marriage.  Which is to say that gossiping is worse.

The church is true.  And I hope I'm able to serve in the organizations to make sure my children are allowed to enjoy the gospel despite the people.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Let it go!

I cut my hair!  I'm in a wonderful season, or moment.  I'm able to let go of things, like the chairs of death, that don't bless our family.  For a long time I wanted to cut my hair, but I worried that I would look like my manly brothers.  But it turns out I still look like me!  And because I have a healthy self image, I like that I still look like me. 

bB is starting to walk.  It's so cute.  He'll stand up and lurch forward 5 steps into someone's arms.  He especially likes to walk to M.

M and P have such a funny relationship. Today in the car they had this dialogue.

M: I still have popcorn and you don't.
P:  It was a race and I won. Ha.
M: You never told me it was a race!
P (quietly): I always knew it was a race. Sorry.

Because G is deaf, M and P are homeschooled they are sort of isolated.  They are each other's best friends.  Nobody else understands them as well as they do.  Some of that is because they are P's and my children, sure.  But at 9 G is still happy to watch Dora.   P is the dominant personality so even though she's 3, she is ... dominant.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Holiday fun

We went out to G-ville to visit family visiting from Louisiana.  It was fun to hang out and we hoped there might be a chance to float the river.  The tropical storm was looming and P needed to go back to town for a band performance on the 4th. 

Then we remembered that cousin M plays the trumpet!  So I stayed in G-ville another night with the kids while P and cousin M went back home for a rehearsal and performance. 

Friday dawned clear and beautiful so we made plans to float the river.  P and cousin M arrived about 11:30 and we got packed and drove out.  In past years C always wanted us to be there by 10 lest we miss the cut off for people allowed on the river per day.  With us rolling into the park at 1:00, I was anxious that we'd be disappointed.  But lo!  We were just fine! 

I'd packed a lunch, and aunt E brought fruit pizza!  Grandma L had sent Twinkies so we were well fortified when we hit the river.

P and I each had a boat to keep B and lP safe.  G and M went on tubes.  In the beginning they tied up to aunt E.  Later they were independent and G even came and saved me from some hazards.  I was so proud and grateful for him.

lP took turns with M in the tube or boat.  One time she slipped and went head first into the tube and got stuck because of her float vest.  G pulled the tube off her and she came up fine, if upset.  But as per family policy, she got back on the tube.

I'm grateful for the example from the P family.  If something doesn't go well, like you get hurt, or crash a car, you must go and try again.  I don't remember that being an issue in my family, but I'm glad to be aware of it in raising my children.

We left straight from the river and went back to SA where our deaf friends were having a swim party and watching fireworks.  I love the families we get to know here. 

I totaled P's hour in the car for Friday and he was driving for at least 8 hours!

I don't have any pictures from that day.  I forgot it for the river which was good because I just needed to keep my hand on B and paddle.  And I just got to enjoy the moment rather than capture it. 

Another thing that I don't have a picture of, yet, is the frog on my window.  It's about 4 com long and has semi-translucent pink skin.  But tonight it's more opaque in some areas.  I wonder if it got burned.  Aren't you glad I don't have a picture?  It's like a nightly nature show watching it hang out on the window, waiting for bugs attracted to the light.  Smart frog.