Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Golden Rule

I read this article on Teen Pregnancy and liked the point that it raised.  It's very liberal minded to be compassionate to mothers and children out of wedlock.  It's cruel and conservative to condemn people for putting their sexual choices above the well being of children. 

When parents are mature enough to put what's best for the children above all else, even above what the child wants, and certainly above what is easy and convenient for the parents, that's good.  Teenagers aren't ready to put anyone first.  A lot of adults aren't ready to put anyone but themselves first. 

But let's at least aim for doing what you would have others do to you.  If I were a teen mom, I'd want people to help me be strong enough to give the child for adoption.  Sheesh, having kids is so hard, even within the "confines" of loving marriage and supporting/supportive husband.  It is madness that teens are being encouraged to keep their babies that they didn't love enough to wait to have.


Gaia Iulia said...

I think the basic issue is the difference between a problem at the macro and micro levels. At the macro level, I think we can all agree that teen pregnancy is bad for the parents and the kids, and that we should do things to try to prevent it (good sex ed programs, for example, and access to contraception).

At the micro level, though, at the level of looking at individual people- you're faced with all sorts of touchy ethical issues regarding personhood and the right of someone to choose whether or not to be a parent. I don't think it's universally true that "teenagers aren't ready to put anyone first". Although I certainly support adoption as a choice. There is also a history of teen mothers having their children forcibly or coercively taken away from them, and of vilifying teen mothers who keep their kids. And that's not okay, either.

Also, I have several friends who were teen mothers, and while I think they would agree that it wasn't the ideal turn of events, I would never want to accuse them of not loving their kids.

Lucky Day said...

Thank you for helping me think about it more. I totally admire teens or any woman who finding themselves pregnant, chooses to let the baby live and take care of it. My disgust after reading that article was the idea that teens, encouraged by reality shows, would use having a baby as a status symbol of their "maturity" but not step up to actually being responsible for the child.

Okishdu said...

The problem of using children as "status symbols" or for other aims is certainly not limited to teens. The worst such that I have heard of involves 'boyfriends' who want to have a girl get pregnant to affirm their masculinity and then cast the resulting child aside along with the mother, or far worse,demand that it be aborted to save them from any potential responsibility. Then there are single older women who have artificial insemination so they can have 'someone to love them'. I have to admit that I had my children because they were so delightful and I continue to enjoy being a parent because after decades, they really are my favorite people. I guess that could be seen as selfish.