drat

I ate BBQ pizza last night and had all sorts of reminders of why I can't eat sugar.  I was frazzled and impatient with the children.  I felt like people I love, don't love me.  I woke up exhausted...

what's working

Apparently I'm obsessed with the benefits of not doing sugar, but I'm trying to not be obnoxious about it with the people in my daily life.  But here are the things that are keeping me on the path I want to be on. 
1.  Nobody else needs to do this.  I don't have to regulate anyone else's sugar, except for my kids and I'm trying to not give them less than I normally do.  I've actually been relying on poptarts a lot to be a quick and easy treat they all love.  It's also easy to just give them each 1/2 of a tart and they are ok with that.  A pack of cookies, they always want more.

2.  I don't care if the sugar gets wasted.  In the past I've eaten left overs.  Now, if someone doesn't finish their treat; trash.  That's fine.  It's already wasted, and if I eat it that will be trouble for me.

3.  I have so much more emotional bank account to not freak out at the kids.  I was tired yesterday and noticed that I was less patient.  But I wasn't feeling crazy. 

4.  I lost 4 lbs.  That's always nice.  Except if it means I've got some sort of medical problem.

5.  I feel great.  I don't feel so tired.  My body just feels more present.

6.  Fruit is great.  Sweet potatoes are my friend. 

Pioneer Women

Today I was pressure washing the deck with L on my hip.  P is painting the deck a bright cheery orange.  It looked like a warm brown when we bought it.  My goal was to get something that would look OK with leaves or pollen on it.  But I should have known that the color Ginger, no matter that it was in amongst the browns, was going to be orange!  But it looks awesome.

Here's G doing a few rows to earn money. 

Here's L posing with our collection of extra lids.  I don't even know why we have 6 rubbermaid roughtote lids...  I mostly use them without the lids...  even so, these are extra!

The orange is so inviting, like a party, all the time!

The luxury of raising ones children is a new innovation.  In past generations women had to work, a lot!  Even the duties that I do as a home maker, were so much harder.  Washing clothes, keeping people fed, making clothes, growing food!  It's sort of amazing that we have the luxury now to enjoy hours with our children, let alone all day. 

As I held L in my sling and moved the sprayer back and forth, I smiled at him and fended off his hands.  Who needs glasses to pressure wash the deck?  Not me apparently.  I was so grateful to be able to do this hard job and be with my sweet baby.

Making a habit

I'm still not eating sugar.  Not even peanut butter candy!  Oh, it's hard.  But even as it is hard, pathetically so, I have so much serenity with my children.  I wish I could do both, eat sugar and be nice to the kids.  I've been sane for weeks now and feel tempted to see if I can just eat sugar and still be sane.  But I know I can't.  It's worth avoiding sugar to be able to be nice.  Harsh!

tourists

 Today we went aboard El Galeon a replica of the Spanish Galeon ships that traveled back and forth from Spain to the Americas, transporting millions of dollars in precious metals and jewels.

This outing was so wonderful because we planned so well.  We scoped out parking yesterday, and today were able to confidently go to that place, no worries.  We also planned out 1/2 hour for travel and 1/2 hour for lunch, then meeting up at 2 with other families.  So we were never rushed, and just met up with the other families as we walked toward the ship.  Then we were able to leave on time to get G.  And nobody peed their pants.  M was able to go into the school for the restroom.  I gave everyone more cookie.  Then we took kids to choir.  I feel so grateful that we were able to have that experience of being able to plan an outing and have it go smoothly!

sugar free serenity

The kids made some peep dioramas.  It was a fun way to let them be creative and eat some peeps.

M's choice was a playground.

G's choice was a football game.

lP's choice of a building and police car were a little bit more obscure, but I enjoyed her reaction to my creating the building and car.

I made this one on behalf of B.

I'm still avoiding sugar and it's going well.  3 reasons it's going well:

1- I can tell that I have more emotional energy to deal with the children and be kind.

2- It doesn't bother me to make and give treats to others.

3- I'm just saying goodbye to entire groups of food rather than use sugar alternatives.  

#1 is a huge motivator.  #2 means I'm not trying to control others, just me.  #3 means I'm just saying goodbye, instead of trying to maintain a relationship, that's huge. 

I think, is this treat worth being a crazy mom? No.  Goodbye treat.

going strong

So it's been a few days and I haven't cheated on the idea of giving up sugar.  In the past I've tried to limit certain treats, so I just ate others.  Or I tried to use artificial sweeteners, so I just ate poison.  And this time it's not really a cosmetic change.  P loves me whatever.  And I'm much more calm if I'm not eating sugar.  I'm a better mom, of my kids, when I'm not eating sugar. 

Mentally I've been going through various things I won't be eating now, or maybe ever again.  Goodbye nutella, ice cream, pop tarts, chocolate, twix, doughnuts...  I'm not looking to find a healthier version of these things.  I'm just saying goodbye.  My personality allows for me to just go cold turkey.  And fortunately, for ease of life, I can still let others eat sweets and it doesn't bother me.  In fact, it's awesome.  I'm like, "Here's a pop tart, don't make a mess." instead of wishing my kids weren't eating all the treats.  Sadly, I have had moments like that "Hey, don't eat all my... whatever."

Time for me to do this small thing that means a lot for my relationship with my kids.  I haven't yelled at them since I quit sugar.  I also haven't felt ashamed for loosing my temper over trivial things.  Yay!

Day one, try again

Yesterday I decided I was going to try and eat more healthy.  But then I ate a bunch of cookies ; (

Today when I wanted to eat a cookie I thought "no" and had a nice positive reinforcement.  Maybe I can turn the switch from meaning stress and reward = sweets, to be turn down the sweet=reward of feeling good.  That would be nice. 

I definitely notice that I freak out at the kids when I've been eating a lot of sugar.  There are so many reasons why it's important to eat well.  Without sugar, I'm much more calm, yay, and less impulsive, except for the bunk bed fiasco I've been working on today...  Well, baby steps.