Yesterday a hitch was delivered for the new van. P got it all ready to install and I helped hold it in place while he did the bolts. I love how we work together.
We took the kids on a bike ride and ate at a park out in Armstrong. It was a lovely ride. As a child I saw people riding the trail by the DC temple and always dreamed that was so exotic. P has made that dream come true for our large family. I'm very grateful that he is so deliberate about creating beautiful family memories and traditions.
A bit of advice that I'm trying to follow, about ending manipulation, is to stop asking why. When a child is acting in a way that bothers other people, it doesn't matter why. They just need to stop. Asking them why invites them to invent some reason, which is manipulation. Anything that we think allows us to act less good than we can, is manipulation. Don't think you have to follow rules? Manipulation. Other people have to pick up the slack and cover for you? Manipulation.
The children have been responsive to the Stop-Pause-Redirect instructions. I need to stay firm on this. Sometimes the children didn't hear me. OK. But they still get paused and re-directed. I like that re-directed can just mean, told again. It can also mean that they are sent to do something else. I like that the pause gives me time to calm down so that when I re-direct them, I usually do so in a whisper, and just tell them what to do, instead of being all mad...
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