Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The body of marriage

I was thinking today about how marriage is a lot like having a body.  When we're young we're learning so much.  Our young bodies fall a lot, and experience a lot of joy.  And like a marriage, as long as there isn't a a disability/dysfunction, you get through the first 20 years or so without much intervention.

Then once you have a mature marriage, you might suffer from a metabolic change.  If you have kids, they are not children anymore.  They're teens and likely driving your marriage apart rather than bringing you closer like little children do.  And when the kids grow up you loose that common endeavor completely.

So just like a body slows down and need exercise to stay healthy, so does a marriage need conscious effort to keep it healthy.  Everyone knows about diet and exercise, even if they don't do them.  And just like your body can't stay healthy on a diet of soda and chips, the communication and habits of your early marriage aren't going to cut it as you age.

So here's the question, what do people need to maintain and improve the health of their marriages as their relationship matures?


tricia voss said...

I've reflected on the similarity between marriage and healthy lifestyle a lot. Like losing weight is like the chase of courtship, and then you get to goal weight and you have to keep on keeping on. There's a therapist in our ward, and she says when people are asked what marriage is about, single people say "love", newly weds say "commitment", and people who've been married a little longer say communication. But I might have the last two reversed.

Lucky Day said...

I think it's so hard to get healthy in marriage because it's 2 people. And one may be ready to communicate, or be honest, or whatever, but the other is not. So they get frustrated and then when the other is ready, they are holding a grudge.

Lucky Day said...

Imagine if the left and right sides of our body did that. Yikes!