Tuesday, July 31, 2012

It's not an excuse, it's a reason

There are hard things in this life.  I'm glad I don't have to deal with a lot of them.  I do have a pretty bad "act like a jerk" tendency that flares up.  And I also have a bad habit of judging people based on what I see.  Every once in a while someone gives me a glimpse inside their life and I get to understand, a little bit, what they are struggling with.  And most people are struggling with things. 

A few months ago someone was upfront with me and said that they had bi-polar, so some things were harder for them.  I was grateful that she let me know.  It's not any of my business, but it makes it easier for me to not be judgmental. 

Sometimes people, myself included, are just lame and lazy.  But sometimes they have legitimate reasons for not being up to the things we hope they would do, like clothe their children in new clothes every day, or brush their babies hair.  I was a little mortified to run into a friend, who had us over for dinner last night, at the playground this morning.  lP was wearing the same clothes.  My bad.  My friend, kindly didn't mention it.   I need to more often insist that she change her clothes.  But most often, once the clothes are off, I can't get new ones on.  So if they are not visibly soiled, I just let it go.

An excuse is a something you use to try to justify an offense.  But I think it's ok to let people know that you're struggling.   Part of that is self honesty.  Part of it is letting go of your pride in keeping anyone from knowing about your life.  Another part is to be doing your best.  When people know you're doing your best, and you let them know a little of what your going through, it will deepen your relationships and you will be able to give and receive more support aka love.

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