friends

Tonight at church there were 15 kids and 3 sets of besty friends.  When we were dividing up for an activity in 2 groups, the kids were counted off, 1s and 2s.  The bestys protested and the leader was giving in.  I asked if we could not give in to them and she supported me not supporting her. 

When I was serving in Young Women there were a few friends that were always together and the other 8 girls felt excluded by their closeness.  Nobody was leading, just being left out.  And then there was E who is deaf and excluded beyond exclusion.  Where the girls could have been doing good including someone, they were waiting to be included.

I hate besty behavior.  Be a friend, make new friends.  Don't use your friendship as an exclusive commodity to be coveted.  Besties are so involved in their dialogue that they disrupt and distract from lessons.  Besties mean teams are unfair for sports or academic challenges.  I'd love to see my children rise to enjoy challenging against their friends as they each lift those around them and enjoy a competition that isn't lopsided.

M's very fortunate to have a neighborhood friend who is a friend to all.  She's a great kid and includes G and lP.  She doesn't play game like pointing and whispering at people.  lP actually got in trouble because M told her to go home and PF kept bringing her back.  lP was supposed to have stayed home because I was taking the other two girls to choir.  It was tricky, but I'm so glad PF tries to include lP.

A best friend is not something to have, it is something to be.  When your friends are unkind or stupid, tell them.  When your friends are scared and doubting, support and comfort them.  Be a great friend.