People in tragedies are people too. One of the strange things that happened when we were in dire circumstances is that the things we'd feared, actually happened, and nobody died. And even when people die, I have a belief set that copes pretty well with that. I've never had a parent or spouse die though.
I think when people are going through hard times, we make the mistake of thinking they are other. Like they are going through a hard time and wouldn't want to come to a party, so we don't invite them. Or, they're going through a hard time and shouldn't post lame things on the internet. They should only have deep thoughts.