the importance of playdates

I've been participating in playdates for many years.  Mom's groups and playdates are great for moms and kids to have friend time.  Something I realized today is the value of playdates in socializing a child to the manners of guest and host.  Things like "don't jump on the couch, and don't run in the house" don't carry the same weight if it's not your parent saying it.  If a child is in other people's homes on a regular basis without their parent there, they aren't given the guidance consistently.  The care giver just survives, after telling the child a few times to stop.  When the child is picked up the parent may ask "How were they?" and who gives a full account of every infraction.  No, that would be rude, but it is good for children to be consistently guided, or nagged. 

lP had a habbit of whining and scolding me for the chatting that usually goes on in the driveway at the end of a playdate.  I told her on Monday that she may not talk to me that way, sternly.  Ironically, today she and M were running in someone's house and I said it was time to go, and they sweetly encouraged me to keep talking.  "No, you need to go." I told them.

I'm so grateful for the freedom to be with my children so much.  If they are not behaving, "Is it time to leave?" is always an effective threat because they know we will walk out the door.  I really want them to be able to have confidence that they know how to behave.  I think knowing what is appropriate behavior and dress is a real asset.  I'm not concerned with fashion, just modesty and not destroying people's homes.