fire extinguisher

A friend of mine has an 18 year old daughter.  The family doesn't have churchy values.  They're more of a love, let live, trust yourself group.  The daughter recently had a close encounter on the 2nd date, and the cops called mom.  Ack!  Mom doesn't seem to care if daughter does those things whenever she wants to, but doesn't want some boy pressuring her to do those things.

I come from the perspective that you should be married, in the temple before all that.  And I think that having parents expect that of you is good for kids.  And also having parents that understand if things don't go that way, is good too.  How do you be the father that embraces the prodigal?  Wow.

An analogy that I came up with was a fire extinguisher.  It's a useful tool but we put it behind a pane of glass so that nobody makes a mess of things because they were bored.  The glass can be broken anytime someone really wants the fire extinguisher enough to break the glass.  But you don't just leave the fire extinguisher out.  It'll get used.

I hope our children choose marriage and safe environments for having children.  Even if they don't choose that, they should understand that it's their choice, not their "friend" who gets to choose.  They should have known the person for 2 months minimum.  They should have met each set of parents.  They should decide that they are going to do those things, not just fumble into it one night that they are bored.

I think the same goes for kids getting married.  If a kid wants to marry a person they've only known for a few weeks, and they want a wedding in a month, I'll say, "Woah!"  But I'd rather they get married fast, than wait for temptation to play it's self out.

reception

A friend of mine was throwing a shower for her daughter that was married 2 months ago in Utah.  I volunteered to help in the kitchen.  I know it's nice to let the family enjoy the evening, instead of work.  And I don't really like parties anyway.  I do like sitting down with some friends but I'm not into dancing etc...

She had hawiian haystacks and it was awesome!  Rice, chicken gravy, coconut, pineapple, olives, tomatoes and cheese.  And she had salad and dressing at the end, so people could eat the toppings either way.

I've helped out in the kitchens for a few receptions and always come away with some ideas for next time.  I did remember to bring a few towels, but I should have brought 5 or more.  I should also bring washing soap and scrubby, though this ward had them.  I should also bring a knife and cutting board I like rather than rely on the ward to have something.

Some ideas for if I'm ever in charge include: 
Have a bowl of everything ready to refill.
Have water and punch available.
Use crock pots to keep things warm.
Don't rely on the church to have anything functioning, and check a few days in advance.
Bring #10 lids and ziplock packaging to take thing home, and boxes, and a cooler!  There's always ice, unless there isn't.  But if you can stick things in a cooler with some ice, you don't have to worry about them until later.  
Some things are good to buy in large containers, but others it might be better to have smaller amounts.  We got to take home a #10 can of sliced olives! 
Order rice from a chinese take out.
Make things easier on yourself even if it is more expensive.

I thought I handled it well

Yesterday we watched some kids from church for a few hours.   I love this family.  The parents are pillars of our ward.  And they let their kids perform in a hip hop group, and play zombie video games.  So even though I adore them, our family has different standards.  Ironically, I share a lot more values with the granola Waldorf moms I hang out with in our homeschool co-op. 

The kids can only have computer/DVDs between lunch and dinner.  We're usually only home for 1 hour of that window.

The friends came over and spent most of the 1 hour before dinner trying to get us to play games we don't play.  And at one point the 9 year old pulled out his tablet to play games.  I saw that and panicked.  Was it my place to tell someone elses kid what to do with their possession?  It would be obvious if it was a dirty magazine.  And a tablet has as much capacity to expose my kids to things I don't want them to see, and more.  So I said "G, you can't use your tablet in my house." 

P asked me why not and I told him that G plays zombie games.  It's all he talks about playing whenever it's discussed.  P thankfully added an authoritative "We only play games that we can all see on the TV."  And they'd already been told not to play zombie games, or games with killing people in them.

Kindle

G and M read at a great level.  I know G reads faster than I do.  He hasn't been interested in moving past graphic novels recently.  So there are stories we wanted to share with him that he wasn't interested in. 

P recently fell in love with the kindle his family gave us years ago.  I would use it occasionally to read an e-book borrowed from the library.  P just barely realized that he can get more books and faster if he uses the kindle.  For once in my life, I was ahead of him on some bit of technology.

G is reading books on the kindle that he hasn't been interested in paperback.  It's pretty fun.  But now they're always stealing it from each other.  So we might get another.  So strange.

Peace

I have this magical time in the morning.  The older children have learned to entertain themselves with reading, piano, drawing etc...  B sleeps until about 9.  So I can also sleep until 9, or I can wake up and read the scriptures.  It's so nice.