light burdens

Today a sweet friend held L for a while during sacrament meeting.  She even took him out while he was fussing.  Nice!  Afterward she said "I hope that gave your arms a rest."  L is delicious and this sweet friend always wants to hold him.  And I appreciated the time to just pay attention to B. 

Later I was holding him asleep at the end of RS and thinking about the "burden" of holding this sweet boy.  All of my children are so sweet.  They are mine to care for, with P, they are our burdens.  But it is light because we love the, and because they're so cute.

Similarly our "burden" of living the gospel is light when we love.

something important

I was upset about something recently and P taught me something revolutionary.  I had been grousing for several tens of minutes about something that I felt someone else was doing wrong.  P said "You have 6 more hours to be upset about that and then you have to stop."  I was like both taken aback by his suggestion that I would continue to obsess about it all day, and by his statement that I had to stop.  Who's he to tell me to stop complaining about something that isn't my business.... oh.  Yeah.  It wasn't my choice to make.  And while their choice affects me, it affects them more, obviously.

This idea, not getting upset about things that aren't my business or choice to make... it's huge!  I can just choose to not waste emotional and physical energy on things I can't change.

I've heard of the serenity prayer.  I've even thought I was somewhat good at applying those principles in my life.  I'm vain like that.  But I've lazily felt like I was entitled to be bothered, when I'm not.  My energies are more appropriately placed on things that I can actually influence and that are my stewardship, like my family! 

P is awesome.  I'm glad he had the wisdom and courage to tell me this truth.

Valentines

This is a little idea I have been enjoying; making mini montages so the kids have mini pictures of themselves.  Last year we had extra pictures of G from his birthday cards.  I let him use those to put on valentines.  M and P were of course jealous.  So this year I made a mini montage so we could send valentines to cousins and friends with pictures.  The kids have 30+ cousins that are young enough that we wanted to send valentines.  Sorry older cousins!

I make these montages by putting the pictures into a word document.  I crop them, and make them all the same height, so the rows work out.  Still there was something strange with G and L...  Good enough for pictures that I plan to have cut up.  I've made a few other montages for M's birthday and bookmarks that I paid more attention to details...

So we've been making valentines like crazy.  I'm trying to help M understand that she can't spend 5 minutes on a valentine and then crumple it up.  I dislike perfectionism.  Poor girl.  She doesn't have to make valentines for all the kids at co-op, but a few would be nice.  And done is better than perfect.  I used to say "Done is better than good."   But I think the key to that is developing skill to get things done and have them be decent. 

I have some nice water color paper that I got for the kids.  Unfortunately I rarely let them use it.  But I did once let lP use a sheet which she made a lovely shade of coral by mixing the red and yellow beyond distinction.  At the time I was like "Why did you mix it up so much?"  But I saved it and turned it into hearts for them to glue their pictures onto.  I pointed out that it was a page lP painted.  Hopefully she doesn't remember my criticism....

I love my mom and I see in myself a similar desire to make things rather than buy the commercial option.  This can be fun, but it is also not cheaper or easier.  But I just accept that part of me that needs to add value.  It is really fun to do things, and create.  That's all the wisdom I have for today.

anything and everything

I've heard people say they'd do anything for their kids, they love them so much.  But, as the mom of Affluenza has shown us, that is stupid. 

I absolutely love my kids.  And if they were faced with jail time, I might help them flee the country.  Jail is a terrible place.  But the time to do anything and everything for your kids is when they are young.  And by anything and everything, I mean take care of them, spend time with them, show them that there are consequences for their actions, and teach them not to be a jerk.

Today at the park B was chasing lP and a newfound friend.  He was being an alligator.  His little 2 year old legs churning as he clapped his arms open and closed.  I was seriously impressed at his coordination.  After a while the newfound friend got scared.  She was hiding behind her grandma.  So I told B that she didn't like it.  I asked him if he wanted me to chase him.  I chomped my arms at him.  He was scared.  So now he understood how the little girl felt.  Going forward, I reminded him not to chase her.  And when he did, I stopped him.

This small moment was a step in teaching B about consent.  Consent with a capital C is really about common etiquette applied to  sex.  If someone doesn't want what you offer, that is their right. 

I think of school, and group situations in general.  Even outside the egregious situations of bullying, there are so many situations where children are taught that it's ok to force themselves on other people.  Kids have to put up with the jerk on the bus.  Kids have to put up with people cutting in line, or stealing toys on the playground.  Students have to put up with group work when other kids aren't pulling their share of the load.  And if they don't like it, they're wussies.  Great.  Thanks school.

Certainly in life, we do have to drive in the lane.  We have to pay for the food at the store.  We can't just do whatever we want all the time.  But we don't have to put up with being abused.   When I hear kids saying "You have to..." I cringe.  When I hear Dora and Diego saying "There's only one way to..."  I remind my children that there is never just one way....  Well, except for salvation...

M loves to climb.  She climbs up the poles of the swing set.  Today she was climbing next to a woman pushing her child in the baby swing.  I tried 2 times to tell her to get down.  I've told her in the past not to climb next to people because I feel like even if she doesn't fall on them, it makes people nervous.  And that's rude.  I try to teach the kids that their enjoyment should not come at the expense of other people's comfort.   So after she seemed to see me and acknowledge that I had told her to get down, she dangled by her arms and moved to the support closer to the woman!  I lost it then and yelled, YELLED, for her to get down.  Then I was embarrassed for yelling.  Yelling was more likely to make her fall, the very thing I wanted to avoid...  So I told her to go to the car and we left the park.

I love my children.  They are a joy to me.  I love it when people tell me how well behaved they are.  I hope they love that too. 

being creative

 I made these crayons in December.  Our sweet neighbors gave us a box of old crayons.  I hate crayolas.  I'm a bit of a snob, apparently (surprise! OK, like you didn't know this...) and I just feel like throwing them away when they are broken, or if someone peels the wrapper off.  I had mostly purged our home of the skinny stick crayons before I decided I would like to someday make some molded crayons.  So when they gave us 2 cups of crayons, we decided to make some gator crayons! 

We used jello molds, of which we have 4, so I wasn't going to be sad to have one "ruined" to make crayons.  The kids helped me peel the crayons, what a dream come true for them.  I cut the crayons into little bits to help them melt more smoothly.  I sprayed the molds with cooking spray, and put the molds in a water bath to keep the wax melting even after I took them out.  I microwaved them for about 2 minutes then poked the unmelted bits with a toothpick, to submerse them in the hot wax.  I'm really pleased with how they turned out. 

We were able to make 40+ so we kept one set and gave the rest away to kids at G's birthday party.

P took a picture of these other creations of ours.  It has been a little chilly here lately.  We even saw flurries on the windshield on Saturday.  Our family in DC has 2 feet of snow.  We're chilly. 

I'm very pleased with how these creations are turning out.

cake for the win

P's parents gave G this set of nasa toys that inspired this cake.  It was so pretty.  M came up with the phrase "One small step for man...  One giant leap for... CAKE".  We had a nice party.  Some kids just wanted to play football.  G played with different groups, those playing football, those chasing ducks, on the playground etc...  I'm grateful that we always invite the same friends and have the same menu.  Birthdays can be sort of crazy.  I got to spend time hanging out and it was great.

Riding the bus

On Tuesday P took lP and B to a theme park that offers free tickets to little kids and teachers.  G, M, L and I had a day spread before us.  I thought we'd get some cleaning done and maybe do some shopping.  Then I had an idea for an adventure of our own, riding the bus!  In G-town the bus came to a stop outside our apartment.  P had a student pass so it was free.  We used it to go up to the hospital and campus.  So the bus was a symbol of a novel time for us.

I'm big on teaching the kids life skills, so riding the bus is important.  This is a small town, and the bus service is not very extensive.  I did a little research about times and found a route that would hopefully get us to the places we wanted to go.  Then we drove 3 miles to the Publix to get on a bus.

We walked down the sidewalk, and crossed at the very dangerous crosswalk.  It's very dangerous because the place where pedestrians cross is 15-20 feet from where the cars wait to turn.  So there is no proximity to let them know you're there.  And they can get up to lethal speed before they hit you.  I talked to the kids about that and explained how they need to be defensive and look at the drivers.  If the drivers don't obviously see you, don't walk.

Across the street, we got to hang out with some lovely trees that we've driven by for 8 years but never climbed.  At 1:10 we got serious about standing by the sign, there are no benches, and watching for the bus.  At 1:22 it came and we waved, as the man on the info line had instructed me.  The bus flashed it's lights and we stepped back from the pole to avoid getting hit.  There are no bus pull off lanes.  They just pull half way off the road into the dirt.

I'd giving the kids each enough quarters to make the trip and they were in charge of having their fare ready.  They'd never paid to ride a bus before so that was exciting to them.  And later when we had to switch buses because in my haste, we'd gotten on the wrong bus, M ran out of money.  We talked about what to do.  But I just gave them more money, instead of asking strangers for money...

It was a good outing.  M had so much fun she wants to do this every year.