Someone asked me today if I was keeping busy in my calling. They said "Doesn't it seem like there is always more you can do?" My reply led to a larger response about how I like myself and I don't suffer from the common malady of inadequacy. I was raised by a fantastically competent woman who told us lots of stories of people being mean to her. What I took from those stories was that my mom was not perfect, and that those people were jerks to be critical of her rather than helpful.
In my own life, because of my mother, I am very capable, and feel good doing good. I don't feel inadequate, or like I need to be doing more. In my current calling I am super aware that there are at least 30 other women in the ward that could do this calling and do a great job. I just happen to be the one doing it right now and I'm not trying to "impress" anyone, just do my best.
The 4 agreements are very important. Learning to do your best, take nothing personal, assume nothing, and not use the word for poison, help me be happy. When I break these agreements I do suffer from self doubt and worrying that people will hate me. These outbreaks of worry are always less than a few hours, then I stop caring if someone doesn't like me. That's their problem. I like me.
When our ward was reorganized we were paired with the Spanish Branch. I wanted to create a bilingual resource, but by the time I got it done, we aren't paired anymore. Oh well. I am pleased with it. Now I can work on my spanish. I read the English phrase then I read the Spanish and do sign language at the same time. If I can't figure out the spanish well enough to put signs with it, I probably don't know the word for real.
